Romans 7:13-20 (NIV)
Did that which is good, then, become death to me? By no means! But in order that sin might be recognized as sin, it produced death in me through what was good, so that through the commandment sin might become utterly sinful.
We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do–this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
Paul continues his autobiographical experience with the law. Even though the law is good and holy, it made Paul realize that he was sinful before the holy God, and that realization drove him to despair.
His response was to devote himself to doing right, to become, as he put it in Philippians 3:5, a Hebrew of Hebrews and a Pharisee, one who sets himself apart to fully observe the law. He became utterly legalistic, observing even the finest points of the law, studying and memorizing all the commentaries of the most noted rabbis, and building for himself a façade of legalistic righteousness.
But though Paul looked good on the outside, he knew that it was a façade, a righteous mask that hid a depraved mind and heart. For example, though he would never steal, and was able to keep his actions in line with the law’s requirements, he found that his heart was full of envy and covetousness that he could not rid himself of. This is the source of the vivid description of his thought process in verses 14-19. No matter how devout he was in his prayers, his observance of the proper rituals, his tithing and giving alms to the poor, it was completely ineffective in removing the inner sin that was glaringly obvious to him and, he was sure, to God as well.
He doubled down, becoming even more outwardly devout, observant and zealous for the law, even to the point of persecuting believers in Jesus, whom he considered heretics, people who were encouraging God’s people to worship other gods, and thus deserving of death according to the law (Deuteronomy 13:1-18). But all that zeal was a smoke screen, because he had come to recognize that there was deep sin in his heart that fought a constant siege against his best efforts at holiness, tainting his every good action with unrighteous motives, and corrupting his thoughts, even as his body was doing all the right things.
Father, many of us had to pass through this same process, trying to turn over a new leaf, pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps, attempting one self-improvement process after another in an effort to make ourselves, our actions, and out thoughts acceptable to You. But, like Paul, our best efforts failed miserably, and we often ended up feeling like we were even further from pleasing You than before. Legalistic observance of the rules can never clean a corrupt heart, as Paul so vividly describes here. If it could, then Jesus died for nothing, and Your gospel would have been simply, “Try harder!” But, if we let it, that unpleasant, seemingly hopeless process drives us to surrender to Your work in our hearts, because You CAN change us from the inside out, as Paul himself discovered, and as he documents in the next verses. Thank You for the process, but thank You even more for the end result it brings: real salvation, real transformation, real life. Amen.