1 Corinthians 7:12-16 (NIV)
To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
It is important to not separate any of these verses from their context if we really want to understand what Paul is talking about here. Paul lets us know right up front that Jesus Himself gave no direct instruction about this particular issue. But, as always, Paul is being led by the Holy Spirit as he writes these words.
The Corinthian Christians had received Paul’s instruction that no Christian should marry a non-believer. But that made many believers who were married to non-Christians before they were saved, to wonder if they should divorce their unsaved spouses and look for a new spouse who was a Christian. Paul’s answer is very simple: If the unbelieving spouse is willing to live with them, even though they are Christian, then they should not seek a divorce. If they refuse to live with a Christian spouse and pose an ultimatum that their spouse must choose between Jesus and their marriage, they are to choose Jesus and let the unbelieving spouse go.
It is in this overall context that Paul reassures the Christian spouses that when they came to Jesus, their marriage, even to a non-Christian, was received by God as a holy marriage, and any children of that marriage were received as legitimate in God’s eyes and are to be raised in God’s nurture and admonition. This does not say that the spouse or children are saved simply by virtue of the saved spouse’s relationship with Jesus. If that were the case, every Christian would have been encouraged to marry only non-Christians so that they would be saved through marriage! But, obviously, that is not what any of Jesus’ apostles recommended. But if a married person comes to salvation, their marriage, even if it is to a non-believer, is still legitimate in God’s eyes, and any children are to be raised as legitimate children of that marriage, and raised to be men and women of God.
The last paragraph raises a couple of issues. The first is, do Paul’s words“The brother or sister is not bound in such circumstances” mean that if a non-believing spouse refuses to live with a believer, that the believer is are free to leave them and remarry a Christian? No. Paul’s primary advice to the married in verses 10-11 covered this. If the believing spouse does leave, he or she must remain unmarried or be reconciled.
There were other Christians in Corinth who were refusing to leave when their unbelieving spouse wanted them to go, because they wanted to stay and try to save their resistant spouse. And this was causing disruption in the family, and even bringing down violence on the heads of the Christians. Paul’s instructions are that God’s people are called to live in peace, not animosity. And even though they can choose to stay, God has no requirement that a believer stay in such an abusive situation, even based on the hope that the non-believer might eventually be saved, which might never happen anyway.
Father, these standards probably seem overly rigid to many people. After all, if someone is in a hostile and abusive situation, why not just get out and look for someone better? But You designed marriage to be a covenant relationship that can only be broken and formed with someone else if marital unfaithfulness occurs (Matthew 5:32, 19:3-9). Other than that, you designed marriage as a “till death us do part” proposition. That’s all the more reason why everyone, especially but not only Christians, should consider carefully before they marry, because if they divorce and remarry for other reasons, it is sin in Your eyes. But You are also reasonable and compassionate in providing an exit from a marriage where a non-believing spouse refuses to live with a Christian. Lord, this is so much different than the way our society has structured both marriage and divorce that our normal fleshly tendency is to push back against what seem to be such rigid requirements. Help us to see, Lord, that marriage is not what we want it to be, but about what You created it to be. And as Your people, we must do it Your way in every facet. Amen.