John 21:15-19 (NIV)
When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?”
“Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.” Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you truly love me?”
He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.” The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”
Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Feed my sheep. I tell you the truth, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.” Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, “Follow me!”
Peter had denied Jesus three times, and many see in this triple invitation to express his love for Jesus a restoration, an undoing of the earlier denials. However, there is more going on here than is apparent through the English translation.
Greek was and is an amazingly rich and flexible language, able to express subtleties that many other languages can’t, and thus ideally suited for its use in philosophy and theology. Greek has several words that, in English, are translated by the single word “love”. Two of those words are used in this passage. One is agapao, which expresses unconditional, selfless, self-sacrificing love. It is this love (agape) with which God loves the world (John 3:16) and with which Jesus’ followers are instructed to love one another (John 13:34-35). The other word is phileo, which is often defined as friendship love, or brotherly love.
In Jesus’ first asking of Peter, he uses the verb agapao: “Simon, son of John, do you love me with unconditional, self-sacrificing love, even more than these other disciples?” The question struck Peter to the heart, because it was exactly that kind of love that he had assured Jesus that he had for Him when he swore, “I will lay down my life for You.” (John 13:37)
But Peter knew that he really didn’t love Jesus with that depth of love, and it would do no good to profess it now, when there was no danger. In his answer, he used the word phileo instead: “Lord, I love you, but you know that I only love you like a friend.”
Jesus took that answer in stride, and commissioned Peter to “feed my lambs,” to tend the new converts that would soon be coming into the kingdom. But He asked Peter a second time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” again using the word for self-sacrificing agape love. Peter’s response was a duplicate of the first response: “Lord, I love you, but you know that I only love you like a friend.”
Jesus commissioned Peter to “shepherd (His) sheep,” to take care of and guide the established believers as the Church grew. Then He asked Peter the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” But this time, Jesus used the word for the lower level of love, phileo. His final question was, in effect, “Do you at least love me like a friend?”
John notes that Peter was grieved at this third question, not because Jesus was continuing to question his love, but because by the way he asked the question, Jesus was lowering the bar, and it felt to Peter like He was giving up on him. His response carries the sense of, “Lord, You know everything. You know that I denied You to save my own skin. You know that, as much as I would like to say otherwise, I really only love you like a friend.”
After commissioning Peter to “Feed (His) sheep,” Jesus looked beyond the failures of the past to the future that lay before Peter. The description of Peter stretching out his hands and being led to where he didn’t want to go was clearly understood to indicate a death like Jesus’ crucifixion, the kind of death that Peter would indeed go through at the end. Jesus knew that, though the spirit was willing, Peter’s current flesh was weak (Matthew 26:41). But He also knew that on the day of Pentecost, just a few weeks away, Peter and the rest of His followers would be filled with the Holy Spirit. And at that moment, true agape love would fill all of them, giving them a boldness and a spiritual strength and integrity that would not fold, even in the face of suffering and death. And, looking forward, Jesus knew that, in that new economy of the Spirit, and in that new, genuine agape love, Peter truly would be able to follow Him, no matter where that path led.
Father, we all need the strength of Your Spirit, filling us to overflowing, and enabling us to live lives of true agape love for both You and for each other. And we need the power that comes from that filling to be able to stand strong, even when faced with pain or threat of death. Fill us up, Lord, with Your Spirit. Mere human love, love for Jesus like love for a friend, will never get us to where we need to go. Only true agape love, divinely empowered, self-sacrificing, unconditional love will suffice to help us go the distance faithfully. Amen.
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