1 Corinthians 7:8-11 (NIV)
Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion
To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.
Paul has given his overarching philosophy on marriage in the first seven verses of this chapter. Now he focuses on several specific situations that were asked about in the letter from Corinth.
The first is: What about widows and the unmarried who want to get married? Paul is very consistent here with what he has written before. In his opinion, it is better for them to stay single instead of looking actively for a spouse, which will divide their attention and likely make them less productive in the Lord’s work. However, Paul realizes that the path of celibacy isn’t for everyone. So, he counsels that if the person in question has sexual desires that they cannot subdue, then it is better for them to seek out a spouse so that those desires can be expressed within the context of marriage, and not lead them into the sin of fornication, sexual activity outside of marriage. Even though Paul sees celibacy as preferable, he will not condemn anyone who chooses marriage instead.
The second situation is those who are married to a Christian spouse, but who are unhappy in their marriage for whatever reason and are wanting to divorce and remarry. For this situation, Paul has direct guidance from Jesus Himself. The couple must stay together and work it out. If they do separate, they must remain single and celibate unless and until they work it out and get back together.
It is not difficult to find Jesus’ commands on this issue. In the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5:31-32), He clearly tells His followers that if anyone divorces his wife, other than for sexual immorality, causing his wife to have to remarry for support, he causes her to commit adultery. This is because the divorce is not based on the only grounds that God allows, so He considers the covenant still in effect.
Later, when asked about grounds for divorce by the Pharisees (Matthew 9:1-12), Jesus clearly said that marriage is a covenant that God designed and implemented with the very first couple, Adam and Eve, and that it should not be broken by people. He further stated that if someone divorces his wife (again with the sole exception of marital unfaithfulness) and marries another, he is guilty of adultery in God’s eyes.
It is on the basis of this clear and uncompromising teaching of Jesus that Paul delivers his instruction on this situation. The couple must either work it out or choose to remain unmarried and celibate.
Father, this guidance might seem restrictive and unrealistic in our day. But that is because we have lost sight of what You created marriage to be in the first place. We tend to marry based primarily on emotions, and we allow sexuality into the situation before marriage, which clouds our judgment. So, when the fires of passion die down, as they invariably do, we look for someone else who will stoke the flames and make us feel the old passion again. But that is not what you designed marriage to be in the first place. In your design, marriage was not about passion, but companionship. It was not about continual excitement, but partnership in life, in ministry, and in creating a God-serving family. Forgive us, Lord, for trying to redesign marriage to suit our own carnal ideas and desires, twisting what You designed as holy into something that is focused on us, our feelings, and our desires. Help us instead to repent when necessary, to go back to Your design for marriage, and to recommit ourselves to doing things exactly Your way. Amen.