1 Corinthians 7:1-7 (NIV)
Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I say this as a concession, not as a command. I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.
Paul had received a letter from the Corinthian Church asking questions about how to live out their faith in the world— real-world questions that Paul was anxious to answer. And one of those questions was about marriage and sexuality.
It was well-known that Paul was not married. In his letters he makes it clear that celibacy was a lifestyle he had chosen so that he was free to serve the Lord without worrying about supporting a family while he was traveling. Also, the life of an apostle was often dangerous. He had been beaten, stoned, shipwrecked, and imprisoned during his life as an apostle, and he clearly felt that it would not be right to subject a wife and children to all that.
So, it was from that standpoint that he makes his first stand on the issue. It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman, which for Paul clearly meant remaining unmarried and celibate. Paul knew that there were vast numbers of people in and around Corinth who needed the Lord, and it would be best for the kingdom if the men were able to focus their full energy toward saving them.
However, he also knew that the entire culture of Corinth was permeated by sexualization, and that many of the Christians had come out of that highly sexualized culture. So, he figured that it was preferable for each man in the church to have a wife, and each woman in the church to have a husband toward which their sexuality could be focused.
Paul, far from being prudish, did not see sexual expression as sinful. But, in order to be the holy thing that God designed sexuality to be, it had to be expressed within the bounds of marriage. So, he dictated that if a man and a woman chose marriage, that that marriage must be a place in which each partner could express and find satisfaction for their sexual desires.
So, to avoid frustration, there should be no withholding of sex within the marriage. Each partner must understand that a part of the marriage covenant is making themselves available to the other so that sexual urges don’t build up into temptation toward someone else.
The sole exception to this is if one or the other spouse wants to devote themselves to a season of prayer and self-denial. Paul obviously commends that kind of devotion, but cautions that this should be only for a set time period and done by mutual consent. Then the pair should come together again, so that sexual desire doesn’t have the chance to turn into lust, and thereby into temptation.
Paul notes again that marriage is not the path that he has chosen for himself, and that he does not consider it to be the preferred path for a soldier of Christ. But he also acknowledges that his path is not the right path for everyone, and that celibacy is in fact a gift, not a requirement.
Father, it is good to see that Paul was not the kind of person who required that everyone follow his model. He lived in celibacy for a reason that was sound, but he understood that, while Jesus encouraged celibacy for those who were called to it (Matthew 19:10-12), He never mandated it for any of his followers. In fact, many of the other apostles, including Peter and Jesus’ own brothers, had believing wives that accompanied them in their travels (1 Corinthians 9:5). And Paul never condemned them for it. He never imposed his own beliefs on people as requirements when Jesus himself made no such requirement. Help us all, Lord, to do the same. Help us to live out our convictions well, but without requiring that others take them up for themselves, unless Jesus Himself lays those requirements on his people through His own words in the scriptures. Amen.