Matthew 12:46-50 (NIV) While Jesus was still talking to the crowd, his mother and brothers stood outside, wanting to speak to him. Someone told him, “Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you.”
He replied to him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” Pointing to his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”
Some have harshly criticized Jesus here for supposedly disowning His real family members, and refusing to see them. But that is not the case. Jesus’ words are not harsh against His family members, and never were, even though some of them rejected Him as the Messiah and scoffed at His popularity (cf. John 7:3-5). And the Scriptures never say that Jesus refused to meet with His family who had come to see Him.
But before He went out to meet with them, He made a very important point. His point was that, for the people of the kingdom, often the closest relationships, those that were most like what God created a family to be, were not those of one’s natural family, but fellow members of the kingdom. In fact, often people who choose to follow Jesus were and are rejected by their family, and must consciously choose God over them.
This teaching ties in closely with another troublesome statement by Jesus in Luke 14:26 (NIV): “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters–yes, even his own life–he cannot be my disciple.” This statement comes at the beginning of a passage in which Jesus outlines the cost of following Him, and challenges the large crowd of followers to carefully count that cost before making that decision. Anyone who chooses to follow Jesus must follow Him steadfastly, even if what He calls them to do goes against what their family members want for them – a much bigger deal then than now, and much bigger in other parts of the world today than in America.’
But Jesus’ point is just as applicable today as it was then. If you become His follower, you become His family, and He becomes yours. This is a great comfort to those whose natural family have turned them away because of their decision to follow Jesus. Jesus’ own brothers had rejected Him, but He had a whole host of brothers and sisters among the members of the kingdom. (By the way, there is no evidence from Scripture that His mother, Mary, ever rejected Him or doubted His identity, although she did worry about Him when his family heard that He was so inundated by crowds that He didn’t even have time to eat, prompting their demands to see Him, and perhaps to try to reason with Him [Mark 3:20-21].)
But, again, Jesus’ point was not a rejection of His natural family; it was pointing out that, in a massive number of cases where following Jesus ends up alienating a person from their family members, they will find that, in the kingdom, they have not only mothers, sisters, and brothers, but an all-loving Father who will never abandon them. (Also see Mark 10:29-30.)
Father, I can absolutely testify to the fact that, in the kingdom, I have friends, and brothers, and sisters that really are family, often closer than blood. When I have been geographically far from my natural family, they have been close, and have filled the void. Thank you for this amazing kingdom reality. Amen.