Mark 14:32-36, 39 (NIV)
They went to a place called Gethsemane, and Jesus said to his disciples, “Sit here while I pray.” He took Peter, James and John along with him, and he began to be deeply distressed and troubled. “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death,” he said to them. “Stay here and keep watch.” Going a little farther, he fell to the ground and prayed that if possible the hour might pass from him. “Abba, Father,” he said, “everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.”…Once more he went away and prayed the same thing.
Jesus was standing right on the cusp of events that would not only challenge Him to His very core, but that would shake history. And what He was seeing ahead was daunting, to say the least. He knew that He had already been betrayed – heartbreaking in itself to think that someone into whom He had poured three years of His life could lift up his heel against Him like that. He also knew that once He had been arrested, the rest of His closest followers would run, leaving Him bereft of any human intimacy.
All of that saddened His heart beyond measure, leaving Him feeling alone even before the events unfolded. But it was what He saw beyond all of that that chilled His soul. He saw the shame and disgrace of being mocked and beaten by the guards of the high priests. He saw the pain and the agony of the lashes He would receive at the hands of the Roman soldiers. He could already hear the jeers of the crowds as He carried the heavy crossbar of the cross through the streets of the city; crowds that had, just five days earlier, hailed Him as their king. He already felt the agony of the nails being driven through His hands and feet, the shame of hanging helpless and utterly naked along the road into the city, the burning thirst from the profound loss of blood, and even the agony of seeing His own mother on the verge of total collapse from a grief too heavy to bear as she watched Him die.
But all of that was nothing compared to the ultimate horror that loomed before Him. He knew that on the cross He would endure all of the shame, all of the suffering, all of the untold agony that had been earned by the sins of all of the people in the world. And He knew that, in that moment, He would even experience the vast separation from His Father that those sins deserved. The Son of God, who had been one with the Father from all eternity (cf. John 17:5), who, even as a human man, still experienced His presence every moment, would, for the first time, be completely alone.
Jesus could see all of this clearly. He had known that this moment was coming from before the world was created (Revelation 13:8). But now that it was here, now that all of these events would be starting in mere minutes, His human flesh wanted to draw back from pain and suffering that would go far beyond anything physical.
But Jesus, when His flesh was weak and afraid, did not pull away from the Father. Instead, He ran to Him in prayer. His request was basically, “If there is any other way to do this, let’s do it that other way. If there is any way to avoid what is coming, I would prefer to avoid it.” But, in the end, His prayer was, “Not what I will, but what You will.” “If this is the only way to accomplish what you want to do, I’m in.”
At that moment, Jesus knew that the events were set, and that, no matter how much His flesh revolted or wanted to pull back, He was committed, and His soul, completely sold out to God and His will, would be in control. Jesus came away from that moment of passionate prayer energized, empowered, strengthened, and completely committed to the plan laid out by the Father. From that moment on, there was no fear, no timidity. Instead, there was a firm resolve to accomplish the mission, to gain the victory, even if the way led through the pain of the cross, and the dark chill of the tomb. He knew with all of His knowing that the end would be glory.
Father, even in His time of greatest challenge, Jesus is our role model. Help me, Lord, when facing my greatest challenges, to run to You, not away from You. Help me to seek You for the strength and resolve that I need to do everything You have called me to do. And help me to do everything with the power and passion that can only come through the heartfelt prayer, “Yet not what I will, but what You will.” Amen.