Mark 14:17-21 (NIV): When evening came, Jesus arrived with the Twelve. While they were reclining at the table eating, he said, “I tell you the truth, one of you will betray me–one who is eating with me.” They were saddened, and one by one they said to him, “Surely not I?” “It is one of the Twelve,” he replied, “one who dips bread into the bowl with me. The Son of Man will go just as it is written about him. But woe to that man who betrays the Son of Man! It would be better for him if he had not been born.”
It was the last thing they expected to hear from Jesus’ lips. There had been many dinners with Jesus and His twelve closest disciples, but this one was different. Behind the celebration of the Passover, and the prayers, and the ceremony, there was a solemnity, a seriousness, an earnestness in all of Jesus’ words and actions that they had not seen before.
He had already startled His disciples by insisting on washing their feet (John 13:3-17), a task usually done by a servant or one of the children of the household. But now, during a lull in the conversation, He shocked them still further by announcing that one of them, one of the twelve people closest to Him, would betray Him.
They could tell from His expression, His whole demeanor, that this was no joke. They all knew that Jesus often knew what was going to happen before it did. Did He know who the betrayer would be? Eleven hearts wondered if they could possibly do such a thing to Jesus, while one heart was filled with sudden dread, dismay that somehow he had been found out.
Yes, Jesus knew precisely who would betray Him. He knew, in fact, that the deed had already been done, the money had changed hands, and all that was left was the actual confrontation, which would come in just a couple of hours.
Jesus understood that even this betrayal was part of the ultimate plan, the plan that would lead to His shame and suffering, to the cross and death. But He knew that it also led beyond the cross to resurrection and eternal victory. But for Judas, this path that he had chosen would lead him away from the light he had experienced in Jesus into eternal darkness.
Even though Jesus had seen this coming from the beginning, it still broke His heart that someone could betray Him who had only received love and respect from Him; someone into whom He had poured so much of Himself. Even now His heart went out to Judas, the one who would shortly lead a cohort of temple guards to Jesus’ camp, and with a kiss would set into motion the events that would ultimately rock the world.
Father, at first glance, it is inconceivable to me how someone who had experienced so much in Your presence could still turn away from you and betray You like that – throwing all You had done for him back in Your face. But then I look back at my own history, and am shocked to find that I, too, once betrayed You. There was a time as a teen when I turned away from You and sought my own way. I didn’t think at the time how much of a betrayal this was, how similar my heart at that time was to the heart of Judas’s – cold and hard enough to be able to throw all that You had done for me back in Your face. I thank You, Lord, that in spite of all of that, You didn’t give up on me, didn’t just throw me on the ash heap and wash Your hands of me. It took more than ten years for my heart to finally break over my betrayal of You; more than ten years wasted in the “far country” before I was willing to really repent. But when I finally heard Your voice, when I turned my tear-stained face upward for the first time in years and cried out, “Save me!” You did. You forgave even my betrayal of You, and restored “the years that the locust ate.” (Joel 2:25) Such love! Such grace! Such unfathomable mercy that You showed to me, Your one-time betrayer! I will love You forever, Lord! Amen.